Hi Ho, etc
by malcolm lake
Summary: Can Kelly and the seven dwarves lead Jim back to Pam? Sequel to Team Building
1. Chapter 1

Hi Ho…etc 

_This is a sequel to my story "Team Building." I don't own anything pertaining to the Office, the characters, or their furniture. I am the proud owner of a stuffed frog wizard, though, and it's kinda cool. Sorry, went away for a minute. Hope you like this little drabble. Please review._

The week after the paintball outing went pretty well for most of the denizens of the Dunder Mifflin Scranton office. Dwight was getting a little paranoid; he felt that the members of the camera crew were blaming him for the paintball incident that cost them a very expensive piece of video equipment. Andy had dropped the Drew persona, but was trying desperately to keep himself under control. Jim and Pam were talking more, which was great as far as the receptionist was concerned. But Jim, still struggling to keep his relationship with Karen going, was visibly depressed.

Using part of his paintball winnings, Creed had bought a bright red "Easy Button" from Staples for his desk. He pushed it at irregular intervals and always seemed mildly disappointed immediately afterward.

Anyway, the new toy sparked the following:

Toby and Michael talking in Michael's office. "It was a joke, Toby."

"Pam wasn't amused," Toby replied.

Michael tried to explain it again. "All I did was put the Easy Button on her head, push it, and ask her if she wanted to go home with me. I mean, it's an Easy Button. So the joke was that pushing it would make HER easy."

"That's inappropriate, Michael."

Michael interviewed. "Nobody around here has a sense of humor," he sulked.

Toby returned to his cubicle. Karen was sitting there with Toby's daughter, Sasha. The little girl was lying on Karen's lap, fast asleep.

The HR rep saw that his daughter was asleep and whispered, "Thanks for looking after her."

"No problem," Karen whispered back. "She just sat on my lap as I read her the story and drifted off. She's adorable."

Toby smiled. "Thanks. I have her through the weekend, so her mom dropped Sasha off after preschool. And I really needed to get a report done today."

"Easy Button?" Karen mouthed, silently.

"Yeah," Toby said with a shake of his head. "Oh, I was wondering. Since you and Andy are the last of the Stamford Branch that are still with us, would you mind helping me with a letter on what you thought about the transition and ways we could do things better next time?"

Karen's smile faded. "That's not a letter, it's a book. Maybe if we did it over a bottle or three of wine…"

"We could do that," Toby said, maybe just a little too quickly.

"Okay," Karen said after a brief pause. The camera panned to show Jim talking to Pam at the reception desk. "Once you're returned this angel to her mom we can do it next week." She carefully got up and put the sleeping Sasha in the chair, kissing the blonde girl on the top of her head.

"Okay." Toby said. After Karen left, Toby whispered again. "Well, okay then."

Kelly was interviewing with the camera crew. "I know that SOME PEOPLE think I'm not the most observant person, but I know what happens here. Like yesterday. Ryan and I saw Pam having lunch by herself, so we joined her. She's been so sad since she broke up with Roy again."

The scene shifts to the lunch Kelly was talking about. While Pam was quietly eating her yogurt, Jim and Karen entered the break room. There was a sad frown on Jim's expressive face as he got his lunch from the refrigerator.

"Hey guys" Kelly called out brightly. "Come join us."

Karen looked like she was trying to think of an excuse, but Jim merely sat down beside Kelly. Experience had taught him that it was easiest to follow the path of least resistance with his young friend. That left Karen with the seat next to Pam. The tenseness between them was evident.

"Pam was just telling us that she's having a showing this Friday night," Kelly said, trying to start a conversation.

"Really?" Jim said, breaking into a smile. "That's great. So, what are you showing?"

Karen looked on with apprehension.

Pam was puzzled. Why was Jim asking about this? He'd already had an opportunity to see her work and hadn't even bothered to show up. "It's just some landscapes," She said.

"Like the one of the front of our building that you gave to Michael?" Jim asked. "What ever made you do that?"

"He came to my showing last month and bought it."

"You had a show last month and didn't tell me?" Jim asked, hurt.

"She put up a flier," Kelly said. "Didn't you see it?"

"It was no big deal," Pam said. "Just some of my watercolors and a few paintings by the other students."

The scene shifts to an earlier moment when Karen ripped down the flier. With another cut, we are back to a shot of Karen as she looks down at her lunch.

"I can't believe I missed it," Jim said with disbelief. "You know how proud I am of what you're doing, right?" He said it without thinking of how that might sound.

"Thanks," Pam said, unable to keep the blush from her cheeks. His words kept running through her head. He was proud of her. He hadn't missed her show on purpose. She smiled and took another bite of her lunch.

"Well, I'll have to make it up to you by showing up Friday," Jim said.

"We can't," Karen said. "We're going to the City this weekend.

"But Karen," Jim started.

"You know that we promised Tom from Corporate that we'd have brunch with him Saturday morning. I'm not getting up at 5 AM for that."

"It's no big deal," Pam said. "You already have plans, so…"

Jim cut in, "But I want to…"

Karen got up, plainly angry. "Can we not discuss this in front of everyone," she snapped. Jim was about to follow her, but the look on Karen's face stopped him. "_Oh great_," he thought, "_another thing to debate tonight_."

After Karen left the break room, Pam said, "Sorry."

"Don't be," Jim replied with a tired voice. "It's not your fault." And part of him knew that it wasn't Karen's fault either.

Ryan and Kelly looked at the scene uncomfortably. Kelly decided a change of topic was a good idea. "You'll never guess what Ryan and I did last night."

Panic stricken looks came over the faces of Jim, Pam, and even Ryan. "Uh, Kelly…I think that we agreed…."

Kelly laughed and waved off her boyfriend. "Not that, silly. I was talking about the show."

That brought a smile to the face of the former temp. "It was pretty funny," he agreed. "We saw this comic hypnotist, and of course Kelly volunteered."

In spite of themselves, Jim and Pam smiled at the thought. They leaned in closer to Ryan as he continued the story.

"So the guy puts Kelly under and asks her if she's seen any movies lately. Kelly said that she saw Snow White and the Seven Dwarves with her niece. So the guy says when she wakes up, he's going to tell her the story and whenever she hears the name of a dwarf, she suddenly becomes someone else."

"Don't you dare say their names," Kelly warned between her giggles.

Ryan was on a rare conversational roll, however. "One of the names turned her into a 5-year old, some made her act like animals…One made her drunk and really affectionate… and one brought her back to normal."

Pam was amazed. "You mean you did all that in front of an audience?"

Kelly smiled. "It was like I became all these other things. It was really cool."

"You looked really cute," Ryan said.

Pam and Jim exchanged a look. It was rare to see Ryan so unguarded about his relationship with Kelly.

At that moment, Dwight stuck his head in the break room. "Michael wants us to meet in the conference room in five minutes. There's a new security policy for the computers that we'll be implementing."

A boring afternoon followed. Under the new protocols, the computers would automatically lock out the user after five minutes of screen inactivity. Everyone needed to come up with new and improved passwords. Entertainment, sports, gambling, and pornography sites would be screened out. Reactions varied from outrage to mild annoyance. Michael said he would be calling Jan to officially protest the policy.

Angela interviewed for the camera. "These changes were overdue. This is a workplace, not a chat room."

Kelly, who was seated by Ryan at the front of one side of the break room, quickly tuned out Michael and focused on the dynamics between Jim, Karen, and Pam.

Jim was sitting opposite Kelly. Karen didn't sit beside Jim at the meeting. Jim sighed after she moved to the back. Kelly thought he looked miserable.

Pam came in last and the only seat was beside left was Jim. It was the first time they had done that since Jim returned to Scranton.

Jim saw Karen staring at him and sighed.

During the meeting, Jim and Pam sneaked looks at each other, offering silent solidarity.

Once the meeting was finished, Jim tried to get some work done. As everyone else was leaving, Jim started to write up summaries of his sales calls. Mostly it was to avoid the mandatory discussion with Karen.

"Goodnight Jim," Kelly's voice rang out in the silent office. He hadn't known that she was still there.

"Goodnight Kelly," Jim replied with a wistful smile.

"You okay?" the service rep asked walking up to his desk.

"It's just been a long week," Jim sighed.

"I know what you mean," Kelly said. She stretched and yawned.

"Somebody looks sleepy," Jim said.

Immediately Kelly's demeanor changed. She fell to all fours and meowed.

Jim's eyes went huge. What was happening? Then he remembered. The hypnotist had made her respond to the names of the seven dwarves and he had said "Sleepy." He wrote the name down on a sheet of paper. "Dopey?" He offered.

Kelly smiled up and him and barked happily.

"Grumpy?"

The service rep went, "Baah"

Jim searched his memory. "Sneezy?"

Kelly sat up but started sneezing uncontrollably.

Jim looked down at the paper. Four down, three to go. He tried a Google search for seven dwarves, but the new, somewhat buggy, software listed that as an entertainment search and refused to process it.

"Crap," Jim hissed as Kelly continued to sneeze. He remembered and wrote down another dwarf name, "Doc."

Kelly stopped sneezing and started giggling. She turned Jim's chair towards her and climbed into his lap. "You're cute," she said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Should have guessed that one," Jim thought to himself. Kelly was unbuttoning his shirt. That reminded him of the next dwarf. "Bashful," he almost shouted.

Suddenly Kelly jumped off his lap and hid behind Dwight's desk.

"Kelly?" Jim asked in a more quiet voice.

Hesitantly Kelly peered over Dwight's desk, her eyes wide.

"Are you okay?" Jim asked.

"Uh-huh," Kelly said, still not moving.

"Kelly, how old are you?"

"Five," Kelly replied.

"Do you know who I am?"

Kelly thought about this for a minute. "You're Jim. You're my friend." She got out from behind the desk and came closer to him. "Do you have anything to drink?"

"I can get you something," Jim smiled. "There's apple juice in the break room."

"I love apple juice," Kelly said, with a smile.

"I know," Jim answered. He picked up the piece of paper with the names of six dwarves on it, took Kelly's hand and went to the break room. He bought Kelly a juice and sat beside her, staring at the list. He could not remember the name of the last dwarf. He took at his cell phone. Pam would know. Then he thought how weird it would be to call her at home for the first time since…

The cell phone rang. It was Karen, wondering where he was. "Yeah, I'm really sorry, I'm still in the office." Jim said with a sigh. "Do you remember the names of the seven dwarves? Hey, I'm not joking. Kelly…"

Karen had broken the connection. Jim dropped his head, his chin against his chest. He couldn't understand why everything was so hard with Karen.

Kelly had gotten out of her chair and was sitting on the floor with her knees folded in front of her. She looked up at Jim and asked, "Why are you frowning?"

Jim answered softly, "It's a grown up thing. See, Karen is my special friend, and she's really nice, but she's kind of mad at me now. She wants me to go to New York this weekend with her. It's just that there's this other friend of mine…"

"Pam?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah. And Pam, well she's…"

"Special-er?"

Jim didn't answer that question. "Pam has this thing that's really important to her, and I really want to be there, too. If I let her down, I'd feel really bad."

"You already feel bad," Kelly noted. "Are you sick?"

Jim chuckled, "Nothing that you'd catch." He turned away, not really looking at Kelly. "Karen's my girlfriend. I know what I should do. I owe it to her." But his mind went back to Pam and how hurt she would be if he missed her exhibition again.

"Do you love her?" Kelly asked.

Jim was now completely staring off into space. "Yeah, I mean I've known her all these years and she really gets me. But it doesn't matter. With Karen I really have a shot at something permanent. I mean, she's great. She's pretty and smart and... just great." Jim realized that must sound pathetic, even to a kid. A tear worked its way down his cheek. "But with Pam, I could really be happy."

"You should tell her."

Jim wiped his tears away. "I already told Pam that I love her and she said she didn't feel the same way. I have to respect her decision. Besides, I can't put Karen through that. It wouldn't be fair to her."

"If you don't love Karen, you should break it off."

"And be alone again. Yeah, that's probably what I deserve."

"You should give Pam another chance. I've seen how she looks at you."

"She doesn't love me." Jim said, simply.

"You're wrong," Kelly said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Startled out of his daydream, Jim looked into eyes of a very normal seeming Kelly. "You're back to normal?" Kelly nodded. "Crap." Jim said, jumping to his feet.

"You finally mentioned the right name. It's funny that the only one you couldn't remember was Happy."

"Well, Happy has been kind of a foreign concept with me lately." Jim said, shaking his head.

Kelly reached up and pulled her head down to hers and kissed him. It was a soft, gentle kiss that surprised the salesman.

When they broke, Kelly smiled up at Jim and said, "Ryan better know how lucky he is. You're pretty great, Jim. I've always wondered what it would be like to kiss you. If you get together with Pam, I'd never be able to find out, 'cause she's like my best friend." She stared into Jim's eyes and asked, "So, what are you going to do?"

"I guess I'm going to an art show."

"That's so great!" Kelly squeaked. "Let's get out of here."

"Yeah, I've got things to do," Jim said, sadly.

"It's gonna work out," Kelly said confidently. "_I'll make sure of it_," she added to herself.

The funny thing was that Jim kind of believed her. In spite of everything, it was hard to doubt Kelly when she made her bold assertions on life.

"So go find your inner dwarf," Kelly said Jim held the door for her.

Kelly interviewed the next morning. "So, now I'm just waiting for everyone to come in." The camera scanned to the early morning office. Three chairs were noticeably absent. The camera zoomed into a clock that read "8:05 AM."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jim drove to Karen's apartment. She opened the door with a vodka Collins in hand. That told Jim just how mad she was. "So glad you could drop by," she said bitterly. "Did you finish your game?"

"Yeah," Jim said, not wanting to get distracted. "Look, I'm really sorry about…Everything."

This wasn't what Karen was expecting. She looked up at him, confused.

Jim looked into her eyes and said, "I've haven't been there for you, and it's all my fault. You deserve someone who's willing to devote their whole heart to you, and no matter how I've tried, I just can't do that."

"What are you saying?" Karen asked.

"I can't go out with you any more," Jim answered.

"It's Pam, isn't it?"

"I can't get over her," Jim admitted. "If there was a pill or something, I'd take it. But there isn't, and as long as I can't get over my feelings for Pam I'm going to keep on hurting you and you're too good a person for me to let it happen."

They were still standing in Karen's kitchen. She sat on one of her dining room chairs and put her drink on the table. It was almost a relief to know that it was finally over. "You should go," she said.

"I'm sor-…"

"Don't," Karen warned. She was on the brink of losing it.

Jim shut the kitchen door on his way out and returned to his car. He had one more stop.

Karen got up and mixed another drink. She knew she had decisions to make, but this wasn't the time.

-----------

Pam was just about to get into bed when she heard a knock on her front door. It was Jim. He looked even worse than he had this afternoon; like he hadn't slept for a week.

"Are you okay?" She knew it was a pretty silly question given his appearance.

"Not really," Jim sighed. She stepped away from the door and motioned him in. They went into the living room. Pam was proud of this part of her apartment. There was a small couch with a recliner immediately beside it. Both pieces of furniture faced the television. Jim sat in the recliner and Pam sat near to him on the couch.

Jim took a deep breath and started, "I have to ask you for a really big favor. I know I haven't been the greatest friend since I came back, but I need you to do something for me."

Pam was getting worried. "Okay."

Jim forced a smile. "Thanks. I have to tell you something, and I just want you to listen. I don't want you to say anything because I really am not in shape to process another thought today. I just need you to hear it."

"Sure," Pam was less worried and more curious now.

"Karen and I broke up. I told her that I still love you and that I couldn't see her anymore. It made me feel like a creep that I couldn't give her what she needed, because she deserves to be happy. It's just that once I came back here…" He knew he had to stop that line of thought. "Anyway, I don't know if she's leaving. But if there was talk in the office, I thought I owed it to you to let you know." He tried hard not to add mentally, "_like you should have told me about Roy_".

Pam didn't know how to react. She was almost relieved Jim had asked her to remain quiet. But she knew her face was showing a hundred different emotions at this point and she wondered what signals she was sending him.

Jim looked away and said, "I should have broken up with Karen as soon as we came back to Scranton. The first day I saw you in the office I knew I wasn't over you. Instead I tried to use her to wall away my feelings for you, and I hurt you both. It'll take me a long time to forgive myself for that."

Pam reached out from the couch and took his hand. Jim looked up at her and allowed himself a tired smile. "So, I know you told me how you felt last year. Kelly thought your feelings may have changed," he saw the question in Pam's eyes. "Don't ask; I can't talk about it now. I just need you to know how I'm feeling, and that I'll try really hard not to make things any more uncomfortable for you."

"See, if you don't…" he decided to say it, "love me, then I'm going to feel terrible about putting you through this again. And if you do love me, I'm still going to need some time to stop feeling like an ass about Karen before I'd be in any place to be a person worth dating."

Jim sighed and got up. Pam joined him and pulled him into a hug. She felt him relax into the embrace, drawing comfort from her as she had done from him before.

After a while, Jim pulled back and smiled at Pam. "Thanks for doing this for me," he said. "Whatever else you are, Beesly, you are a great friend. Don't ever forget that."

He walked to the front door and Pam said, "Anytime Jim."

He nodded and opened the door.

"And let me know when you stop feeling like an ass," Pam said softly as he waved goodbye.

In spite of himself, Jim smiled.

It took Pam a long time to get to sleep.

Karen stayed awake a long time.

Jim barely managed to make it to his couch before he was out. It had been a really, really long day for him.

-----------

Pam was the first of the three to make it into the office. She saw Kelly talking to the camera crew in the conference room. The receptionist was torn between wanting to know what Kelly had said to Jim and wanting to avoid having a huge discussion in front of the whole office. The stares she was getting from Angela and Dwight were quite bad enough. However, she did catch an enormous break in that Michael was out of the office for the day.

Kelly saw her and squealed. She ran over to Pam and asked, "So, did Jim call you last night?"

"Uh, no," Pam said, looking at the camera and feeling very self conscious.

"But he said…"

"Can we talk about this later," Pam asked, looking hard at Kelly and then at the camera.

Kelly sighed. "Okay, let me know when you're taking your break. If I don't hear something soon, I'm going to burst."

The camera cut to Dwight, who said, "You would not burst. The worst thing that could happen would be a stroke. Any idiot knows that."

Kelly cut him a withering glance. "Apparently," she replied.

-----------

Shortly after Pam arrived, Karen came into the office and went straight to Toby's cubicle.

"Hey Karen," Toby said. Seeing the pain in the brunette's face, he asked, "What's wrong."

"You know that form Jim and I filled out about our relationship?" Karen asked.

"Yeah," Toby said, aware of the direction the conversation was probably taking.

"You can just tear up the file and throw it away."

"I'm sorry," Toby said.

Karen forced a smile. "Hey, this stuff happens. It's for the best."

"It still hurts though," Toby knew from his own experience. "If there's anything I can do…"

"You know that dinner you mentioned yesterday?" Karen asked. Toby nodded. "Could we make it a lunch and do it today?"

"Sure," Toby said.

"I still may need the wine," Karen cautioned.

"I understand completely."

"Thanks. It's just that I need to figure out what need to do, and I think you could help me with that."

Toby felt a shiver run down his spine. "Let's do this at eleven thirty, okay?"

"Thanks," Karen said with a genuine smile.

-----------

Jim arrived at work last and immediately started working the phones.

"You're late," Dwight pointed out.

"Yes, I am," Jim agreed, not wanting to get into a fight with his annoying office mate this morning.

"As Number Two in the office, it's your responsibility to set the tone. You don't want the others to think that this is a consequence-free workplace."

Jim sighed. He really didn't have the patience for Dwight today. He called out, "Stanley, has my being late hurt your motivation?"

Stanley looked up and muttered, "I don't give a damn what either of you do."

"Phyllis?" Jim called.

"I didn't even notice you were late," she said politely.

Jim shrugged at Dwight and picked up his phone.

The camera cut to Pam, who was trying to suppress a giggle.

-----------

Pam looked up at the clock and saw that it was her break time. Sure enough, Kelly sprinted to the break room as soon as the receptionist left her desk.

"So, what happened?" Kelly asked.

Pam again looked at the omnipresent camera crew. With a sigh, she said, "Jim came by last night and said that he broke up with Karen. That's all."

"He didn't tell you that he loved you?" Kelly asked.

"He mentioned it. But he also said he wasn't in shape to date anyone now, and I understand that."

"Why that idiot," Kelly fumed. "After all I did…"

"What did you do?" A voice behind Kelly asked. It was Karen.

Kelly suddenly felt really guilty. But whatever else the young woman was, she was honest. So she said to Pam, "You remember that story about going to the hypnotist show?"

"Yes," Pam replied, not sure where this was going.

Kelly turned to Karen. "See I went to this show and was hypnotized. When the guy mentioned one of the seven dwarves I turned into an animal or kid or something."

"So," Karen demanded.

"So last night I stayed around while Jim was working late. I yawned and Jim asked if I was Sleepy, which is, like, one of the dwarves. I acted like a five-year-old and got him talking about you and Pam. He said he loved her," Kelly said, watching Karen's heart break a little more. "He thought I wouldn't remember anything." Kelly looked at Pam and said, "But I was really just pretending."

"You tricked him?" Karen said.

"I wanted him to face his feelings. You all deserve that."

"You people and your stupid games," Karen said. She turned and stomped out of the break room, slamming the door as she walked past. The camera cut to Jim, who was staring at the break room scene, not knowing what it meant.

Karen grabbed Toby and they both left the office.

Kelly looked over at Pam. "I really just wanted to help," she said in her defense.

"I know," Pam replied, trying to keep her emotions under control.

"Pam," Kelly said with an extremely guilty face. "Also, I kinda kissed Jim, but only because he said he loved you and he looked so sad and I just wanted to know what it was like before he got together with you and…"

Pam couldn't listen to any more. She walked out of the break room, closing the door gently as she left. She looked back, and Kelly was still telling her story to the camera crew. She wondered if Kelly could breathe through her skin like a frog. She seemed to be able to talk nonstop without ever having to pause for oxygen.

The camera showed Jim offering a look of support for Pam as she walked past. She gave him a brief smile while her back was to the camera.

Pam had lunch at her desk. She wanted to let Jim have some space and she really didn't feel up to dealing with anyone else. Besides, she had a task to accomplish and it was best done with nobody around.

-----------

Toby and Karen were gone the rest of the day. Lunch, which had been wine free, turned into a walk, which turned into a trip to pick up Sasha from preschool. The little blonde girl asked Karen if she'd ever seen "Finding Nemo."

"Nope," Karen said with a smile.

"Do you want to come home with us and watch it?"

Karen looked over at Toby. "Only if it's okay with your dad."

"Daddy, please?"

"Sure," the HR guy said. "I think that would be great."

-  
Creed spent the afternoon muttering to himself and searching the area around his desk.

Jim and Pam worked late. The other office employees beat a strategic retreat right at five. Jim sighed at 5:20 and got up. He walked over to Pam, who was sending out faxes.

"Hey," Jim said. "Thanks again for last night."

"No problem," Pam said. "We're friends before anything else."

"Yeah," Jim said wistfully as he helped her put her coat on. "Goodnight."

"Oh, Jim," Pam said, casually.

The tall man turned around.

"I got you something," Pam said, handing him a box. Jim opened it to find Creed's Easy Button. There was a little note that read: "When you're ready, put this on my head and push once. I love you, Pam."

The two walked to the elevator, Pam trying not to smile as Jim silently took her hand.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

_Thanks to everyone who's reviewed! Hope you like this bit_ – ml

The last week at Dunder Mifflin's Scranton branch had been relatively uneventful. Jim had gone to Pam's showing and gushed about how talented she was. They had eaten lunch together each day, but they hadn't made any after-work plans or even spoken on the phone.

But Pam, the cameramen, and the rest of the office, had noticed that Jim was touching her again. He would put his hand on her shoulder or lower back when he opened the door for her. He would occasionally tuck a stray lock of Pam's hair behind her ear when they were talkig. The receptionist had to admit that since the first time he'd done that she had been a little less careful when putting up her hair each morning.

Karen and Jim were pleasant, but they didn't really speak. Karen had gone out to lunch with Toby a couple of times, and she was still pretty annoyed at Kelly. Strangely, things seemed to have improved between Karen and Pam. At least everything was out in the open at last.

They were just settling in to a Friday morning when Michael Scott literally jumped out of his office. No matter how familiar the staff was with the Office Manager's antics, he was still able to startle them. It was his gift.

"Attention People," he said in his "far too loud for inside" voice. "I have an announcement!"

Many thoughts flittered through the minds of the assembled employees. Karen was worried about more downsizing; Kevin hoped they were having cake this afternoon; Stanley wondered if it would be possible to work from home; Jim and Pam pondered what it would be like to have a mute button that worked in real life situations; and Dwight hoped Michael was giving him a present.

The camera zoomed in to Michael, "We have the final first quarter sales figures! The Scranton Orifice, my little corner of the world, was number one in sales for the quarter!"

The staff gave a collective "Yea!"

Except Kevin, who said "Nice."

Michael, basking in the moment, continued, "And here are the sales figures: Number one in sales for Dunder Mifflin is our own, Jim Halpert!"

Some good natured applause filled the air. Pam was clapping as she looked at her best friend, but she noticed that after the initial smile and "Queen Elizabeth wave," his face had fallen.

The camera shifted to Dwight. His eyes had gone red with the announcement. If Michael hadn't briefly fired him, that applause would have been for him.

The camera returned to Michael, who added, "Number three in sales, Stanley!" More applause. Stanley almost looked embarrassed. "And number five in sales was Dwight!" He stood up and the applause stopped.

"And the person with the greatest increase in sales from the last quarter is our own Karen, who increased her sales by twenty-nine percent!" The applause began again and Toby whistled. Michael said, "Wow, that hot and she can move product, too." The applause stopped and the camera focused on Karen's shocked face.

Michael, knowing he'd gone too far, stepped back and cleared his throat. "Anyway, as some of you may know, Jan Levinson in Corporate has decided to take a brief sabbatical…"

"That's what they call rehab now?" Kevin snickered.

"Shut it, Kevin!" Michael shouted.

Michael interviewed. "Jan didn't take our breakup very well." Camera cuts to an image of Jan being taken by Sheriff's deputies out of the Scranton Chili's, raging drunk. "Now our entire office has been banned from Chili's. Camera cuts to the Chili's manager who had spoken the night of the Dundies taking pictures of each member of the Scranton office. Angela was clearly mortified, Andy turned the situation into a photo shoot.

Back to Michael. "I regret what happened. I should have known that once a woman became involved with me, that it would hurt if I denied myself to her." He looked at once wistful and proud. "As Gandhi said, (Michael assuming a bad Indian accent), 'with great power comes great responsibility.' Or was that Bob Hope?"

The camera cut back to Friday morning at the office. "With Jan on SABBATICAL," Michael said, cutting a warning glance towards the accountants, "they need an experienced, successful manager to keep an eye on things. Since I am, as today's numbers clearly show, the most successful manager at Dunder Mifflin, I fully expect to be transferred to the corporate office. However, as a formality, there will be an interview in New York on Monday."

The camera cut to Pam, who was shocked. Michael, of all people, was getting credit for being a great manager? Jim's face was blank. Dwight still looked angry.

"Now, once I have the position, Jim will be, temporarily in charge of the Stanford Branch. I will, of course, supervise everything from New York. I'll be like Austin Powers and Jim will be Mini Me."

"Mini Me was a clone of Dr. Evil," Ryan corrected.

"And Jim is much taller than you," Phyllis noted.

"Whatever, Phyllis," Michael hissed. "Jim will be my protégé. As will Ryan. We'll have to see what I can do to get you to New York."

Ryan looked uncomfortable.

"In the meantime," Michael concluded, "Party this afternoon. Party Planning Committee, this is your highest priority for the day. Mint chocolate chip ice cream cake for everyone!"

"Sweet!" Kevin said.

Kevin interviewed. "I knew we would get cake today. I really wish I could have bet on that."

Meredith interviewed. "I really wish just once we could have a regular cake. I'm lactose intolerant."

-----------

Karen dropped by Toby's cubicle after the announcement. "So, are we still on for dinner and kid videos tonight?"

Karen interviewed. "Toby's pretty cool. And Sasha is such a sweetheart. It's been really nice to have something to do over the last week other than staying home and feeling sorry for myself. Although sometimes I think I'm babysitting both of them." She smiles at an unspoken memory.

Toby looked down, blushing. "Sasha's mom called. She got sent home from preschool today with a fever, so she's staying there this weekend. I thought maybe we could grab dinner, maybe do something…"

Karen looked surprised. "Like a date?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, maybe if…"

"Sure," Karen said, nodding. "You know what I'd really like to do?"

Toby shook his head.

"I'd like to see the scary parts of 'Finding Nemo' that you always fast forward through when Sasha's watching."

Toby's face was a study in bewilderment.

"Kidding," Karen laughed. "Maybe we could do a little dinner and dancing?" She carefully observed his face. Dancing was very important for Karen.

"I'd like that," Toby said with a smile.

"Great," Karen said, spinning around and leaving.

Toby interviewed. "Yeah that was…." He smiles, totally unable to find a proper adjective.

-----------

Dwight met Angela in the break room. "You should be acting manager," Angela sniped.

"If I hadn't gotten fired," Dwight shot back, "I would have been high salesman. And we both know why I got fired."

Angela was shocked. Dwight had never blamed her for the incident before.

Seeing the look on her face, Dwight shook his head and stomped out of the room.

-----------

At 10 o'clock, the Party Planning Committee met. Pam said that she would get the ice cream cake. Karen had a suggestion. "Since we're celebrating our sales, we should make money the theme. You know, we could have green streamers and play money. It'll be fun."

Pam waited for Angela to say, "Green is whorish," like she had several times before.

Instead, the tightly wound blonde only sighed, "Whatever, that's fine. I'll get some chips at lunch."

"Are you feeling okay?" Phyllis asked.

"Not really," Angela admitted.

Angela wasn't the only one. Jim told Michael at noon that he was going home.

"But there's the party," Michael said, stunned that anyone would intentionally miss ice cream cake.

"I have to make sure I'm ready to take over for you on Monday," Jim said patiently. "If I get sick, I'd be letting you down."

"Wow," Michael said, genuinely touched. "Sure. I'll see you Tuesday…Unless they want me to take over at Corporate immediately." His imagination took a huge leap to a place where Michael had a huge office of gleaming steel and chrome. And a disco ball.

-----------

When Pam returned from getting the ice cream cake, Jim had already left. The staff assembled in the conference room and Michael decided to give a speech. "I'm only sorry that Jim had to go home. I really want you guys to know how proud I am of the work you've done. To have three of the top five salesmen is just incredible. And I know that you'll continue to do well, for me, even when Jim is in charge." His cell phone went off. "This is corporate. I'll be right back." He went to his office.

Kevin raised a cup of punch and said, "Here's to Jim as our new leader." Most of the staff raised their glasses to the absent salesman.

Dwight couldn't take it any longer. "Jim is a slacker and an idiot. He does nothing but joke around, and if I would have been here for the entire quarter I would be the one in charge, not him!"

"Jim is a good salesman," Pam snapped.

"Oh yeah, you would say that," Dwight said, walking up to Pam. "You're in love with him, even though he loves somebody else. It's pathetic."

"I think you've said enough," Stanley said, cutting in front of Pam. Phyllis gathered the receptionist into a hug. Pam knew Dwight was off base with his accusation, but she didn't want to be office gossip.

Dwight knew he'd gone too far, but he was too upset to stop. "You are all a bunch of clowns. You don't know the first thing about how to be a professional. You're all too busy doing puzzles, playing pranks, or dressing your cats in little costumes."

The camera zoomed to Angela, who was stunned. Oscar put his hand on his fellow accountant's shoulder and Angela buried her head against his shoulder and started crying.

Stanley had listened to this far longer than he thought was necessary. "Let me tell you one thing, you strange little man. I sell more than you, I have a wife who loves me and a daughter who I WILL see get her PhD. There is not one single thing that you can tell me about being a professional. As far as I'm concerned, you're the clown."

Dwight stormed out of the office and went home.

A minute later, Michael walked back into the conference room to see a stunned Pam and a weeping Angela. "What happened?"

-----------

Pam was sketching Friday night when the phone rang. She hoped it was Jim, but was surprised when she answered the phone.

"Hey Pam, this is Daryl." Pam knew how close Daryl was with Roy. "Look, I'm not real happy with you right now, but that's beside the point. Jim's here at Poor Richard's and he's drunk. I think somebody needs to come and take care of him before something bad happens."

Pam was shocked. She had never seen Jim drunk. "I'll be right there. Thanks for calling me."

"Hey, Jim's alright. Just make sure he doesn't drive, okay?"

"I'll be there in 10 minutes," Pam promised. As she drove to the bar, Pam wondered what she would see. Was Jim an angry drunk? Somehow that didn't seem like him.

When she arrived, she saw him sitting in a booth, his head bowed. Daryl was at the bar, and she shot him a grateful glance. He nodded, them went back to talking to his friends.

She slid into the booth and asked, "Want to talk about it?"

"Pam?" Jim asked, as if he didn't believe his own eyes.

"Daryl called. He said you might need a ride home."

"Probably," Jim admitted.

"What's wrong?"

Jim looked at her and she could see the utter despair on his face. "You heard Michael."

Pam didn't quite follow. "What, do you think he's going to actually be promoted to New York? Not even our corporate office could be that clueless."

"But it's out there," Jim said sadly. "Now it's Jim Halpert, Top Salesman. Some day it'll be Jim Halpert, Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin or some other, equally terrible place."

"Shouldn't a promotion be a good thing?" Pam asked.

"No!" Jim said, far more loudly than Pam was anticipating. He quickly regained control of himself. "I don't want to be Dwight Shrute or Michael Scott. I've spent my whole life trying to avoid being them."

"Do you honestly think you'll turn into Dwight or Michael?" Pam asked. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Not nearly enough," Jim said, taking another sip.

"Jim, you're scaring me," Pam said.

Jim wanted to admit that he was scaring himself, too. However, he didn't like seeing Pam upset. "I'm sorry," he said. "It's just that I remember when the film crew first started their interviews. They asked me about my career. I told them that if I advanced any further with this job, I'd have to admit that this is what I do for a living. And if I had to do that, I'd have to kill myself."

"So you sell paper," Pam said, a little frustrated. "I answer the phone all day."

"But you are so much more than that," Jim said softly. "You're going to be an artist. You have dreams. I try, but… Honestly, the only dream I have is you."

Pam didn't know what to say to that.

Jim looked into her eyes and tried to explain. "What if we get together and I end up keeping you from your art? What if I… (thankfully he caught himself before saying, 'what if I turn into Roy?') I…I've already hurt Karen and Katie. I'm don't want hurt you. I can't…."

Pam finally understood. She gently reached out and cupped his face in her hands. "Jim, selling paper is just what you do to get paid. It has nothing to do with what you are as a person. Nothing to do with the man I fell in love with."

"I'm scared," Jim admitted, a tear working its way down his cheek.

"So am I," Pam said. "I think that's okay, though." They both smiled. "Can we get out of here?"

"Yeah, I guess we should," Jim agreed.

"You know you're probably going to get sick," Pam said as they got up. Jim was a little unsteady.

"Nope, I'm not that drunk," Jim insisted as he put his arm around her waist.

"Good, because I don't clean up puke."

"Are you saying you'd be willing to stay at my place tonight?" Jim asked, his smile growing.

"No, I'm saying you're coming home with me and sleeping on my couch."

"I love this shiny new Pam," Jim sighed.

"Remember that tomorrow morning when your head's about to explode. And you will not believe what happened after you left today…"

-----------

Monday morning, and everyone else beat Dwight into the office. It had taken a lot of pleading, but every single Dunder Mifflin office worker was wearing a clown costume. Jim and Pam were matching Raggedy Anne and Andy clowns; Toby and Karen were sad clowns with a single tear running down each of their faces; Stanley wore a red wig and nose; Phyllis dressed like Clarabelle from the Howdy Doody show; even Angela was wearing a red nose, which had taken Jim and Pam's promises of attending her church for two Sundays, promising not to indicate while there that they knew her in any way, shape, or form, and a donation to PETA.

Dwight walked in, still anxious about how he had left on Friday. Seeing the assembled clowns, he knew who was responsible. "Jim," he muttered.

"That's Acting Regional Manager Halpert to you," Jim said, shaking his head in such a way that his fake red hair bounced back and forth.

"Why is everyone dressed like this?"

"What do you mean?" Jim asked, seemingly puzzled. "I was just going to ask you where your costume was. You know that the first Monday in every month has always been Clown day."

"No is hasn't," Dwight answered.

"Of course it has," Jim said. "If you don't believe me, look in your locked desk drawer. I remember you left your nose and wig from last month's outfit there because you had to leave for a client meeting and you didn't trust me enough to leave them on your desk.

Dwight slowly took out his key and opened the locked drawer. Sure enough, there by his throwing stars was a red nose and wig. Dwight stared at Jim as Pam, sitting at her desk, discreetly raised a key so the cameraman could see it.

Jim and Pam interviewed. "The real payoff to the joke," Jim explained, "will happen in a month."

Pam completed, "If Dwight wears a clown costume to work on the first Monday…" Both dissolve into giggles.

The camera zooms to their hands, which are clasped together, then back to their faces. Both of them stop laughing and look a little embarrassed. "Yes, we are FINALLY a couple," Jim admitted. "I'm still not sure she's making a really good choice, but I'll try my best to make her happy."

Pam looks over her shoulder to make sure nobody is approaching the conference room. "I'm in love with my best friend. How much better could it be?" She blushes and hides her head against Jim's chest.

Phyllis walks by the conference room and smiles.

-----------

Late in the afternoon, Michael showed up at the office. His tie was off and he looked shattered. He saw his, surprisingly costumed staff and was about to say something when Pam skipped up to him.

"Hi Michael, here are your messages."

"What the heck is…."

Pam had her explanation ready. "We know that we don't always get your jokes, so to honor the fact that you've always been able to joke around but still got your work done, we decided to have a Clown Monday. To help us learn to be more like you."

"You guys did this for me?" Michael asked, teary eyed. "I don't care what corporate said, I must be a great boss."

Jim had come up to Pam's desk and heard that last statement. "Of course you are, Michael."

Michael was openly crying. "You guys don't know how much that means to me today, I…" He ran into his office.

"You did good," Jim said to his girlfriend.

"I had a good teacher," Pam replied to her boyfriend.

_And we're done. Please review_! ML


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